Aquaphobia
by LizardTongues
Summary: A look into Lovino Vargas's life after a traumatizing childhood incident makes him develop a crippling fear of water.


**This story is in no way, shape, or form historically accurate.**

**All characters belong to Himaruya.**

Romano would never admit to picking flowers for Antonio. Nobody could really accuse him of such, since Romano never actually gave the flowers to Antonio, but everyone knew their purpose. As soon as they started to wither, Romano would pick more. He kept them by his bedside table and told the maids to leave them alone, being the stubborn little boy he was. The maids just smiled and usually put the flowers in a vase for him.

A long winter passed with Antonio gone, off on another pirating adventure. Or so Romano called it, because Antonio told him to. Antonio didn't reveal what he was actually doing, who he was killing and who he was stealing from. Antonio was supposed to be due back in a month from now, so Romano promised, or threatened himself, to pick flowers for Antonio and actually put them on his bedside table. It was a start.

Romano snuck downstairs, which was easy since he was so light. He wouldn't admit to skipping meals, either. He didn't like the maids cooking as much as he liked Antonio's. This week, Belgium was over to see how Romano was faring. Her cooking was okay, but it still wasn't Antonio's.

Romano's plan for the day was to go into the fields to his secret spot, a shady spot under a particularly large tomato bush. He was planning on taking his siesta there, even though he'd woken up not two hours ago. Just as he stepped his foot out the backdoor, he heard his name being called.

"Romano, good! There you are!" Belgium walked over, her arms full with clean laundry. Romano didn't like a pretty girl like Belgium to be doing the maids work, but she insisted she liked to help. "I need you to do me a teensie-itty-bitty little favor!" She bent down to his height, and he blushed and looked away. She was very beautiful.

"Oh…" Romano answered, thinking longingly about the shady spot under the tomato bush. It would have to wait. "What is it?"

"Well…" Belgium started, she looked a little wary, so Romano knew it was a chore of some sort. "The gardener called in sick today, and I was wondering if you could go out into the gardens and take out the weeds?" She could see the disappointed look on Romano's face as clear as day.

"I don't know what weeds look like." Romano lied. Antonio showed them to him when they tended to the tomato gardens together. Antonio would help him with this chore, if he were here.

"Oh, it's easy to pick them out! They're just prickly, ugly things that made the flowers look ugly as well. You don't want our flowers looking ugly, do you?"

"…No…damnit."

"Good! I'm sure they wouldn't want to look ugly either! There's some gloves on the steps to the garden, okay? I'll make you some lunch when you're done." She patted him on the head, resting the laundry on her knee. She stood up and walked out, hurrying to get her own chores done.

Romano stood for another couple of minutes, wondering if he should just go to the tomato bush anyway. If it had been Antonio who'd told him to do it, Romano would make him help. If Antonio was there, he would keep Romano from messing up. Romano cringed when he thought about all the other chores he ever tried to complete. He always messed it up somehow, but since it was Belgium who asked him, and not a random maid, he'd at least try.

The garden was fairly big, and extended to around the manor. Vines and flowers grew up the sides of the house, making it look beautiful, in Romano's opinion. He picked up the gloves from the steps and tried to pull them on, but they were easily fitted for an adults hands. He wouldn't be able to work with gloves so big, so he took them off and carried them out into the garden. He started near the steps, pulling out weeds and the occasional flower by accident. After his third cut, he put the gloves on, but it made working several times more difficult.

Romano, himself, was a weed. The thought interrupted his work, but he shook his head and continued, though at a much slower pace. It was true though, wasn't it? His grandpa was a flower, his brother was a flower, even Antonio was a flower, a beautiful one. They were all so happy and wanted. Romano was just as useless as the weeds he'd been pulling out the ground for an hour now.

He refused to believe that his eyes were stinging. He wasn't going to cry. What a stupid thing to cry over. Though, he wondered, how long would it take for someone to pick Romano out of their family. They didn't need him anyway, he was making the family look bad with his brash attitude and clumsy ways. Yes, he was just a weed, and he'd believe this for as long as he could.

He'd managed to make it to the middle of the garden, feeling oddly proud that he'd managed to get so far without a break or a snack. His cuts stung, but he would worry about them later. Maybe he could use them as an excuse to not do anymore chores.

Romano sighed and took off his gloves, sitting down on the grass in front of the flowers, just off a little distance from the walkway. Beside him, was a pond. The pond was fairly deep to be a pond, but apparently it'd been there since even before the garden. The garden was built around the pond, because Antonio liked it so much. Romano clenched and unclenched his hands, the cuts starting to irritate him now. He shifted on the ground, squirming as he felt the ache in his hands. He then heard a 'plop' and looked over to the pond. One of the gloves had fallen in.

Romano brushed back his hair and sighed, looking over the edge of the pond, squinting his eyes to try and find the glove. It was at the bottom of the pond, fish poked at it and inspected it, then swam away in disinterest. Would Belgium be mad if he only returned with one glove? No, Romano knew what she would do. She would look at him like how the maids looked at him when he messed up somehow. They wouldn't be mad, they would give him a look like 'Oh, Romano' as if they were expecting it. Romano didn't want Belgium to look that way, he wanted her to be proud of him.

Romano got on his knees and peered into the pond, he bent down a little, his hand dipped into the water as he tried to reach down for the glove. It was much too far away.

Behind him, a bird emerged from the bushes he'd been working on. He just barely saw it, and he tried shooing it away with his foot. He concentrated on the glove once more, but the bird took an act of self-defense, thinking Romano meant it harm. It bit Romano's ankle, he shrieked.

And then he fell in.

_One month later_

Antonio tried his best to not look like an excited schoolboy in front of his crew. It was hard, and he knew they were starting to suspect something was up. In front of his crew, Antonio was usually stoic, harsh, and demanding, because he needed to be. That's what it took for the crew to take you seriously, but now Antonio was practically dancing. They were landing soon, Antonio nearly jumped for joy when he saw the Spanish coast. He ignored the weird looks his crew gave him.

He just wanted to go home, to his tomato fields and his little henchman. To his maids that he'd give the month off to, because he was in such a good mood and wanted to spend the time playing with Romano, without worrying about making a mess and angering the maids.

As soon as the ship hit the dock, he could barely even wait for them to put up the plank walkway. He was on it as soon as they set it down, and was down the dock in seconds.

It felt so good to be back on his home soil. He scanned the crowd that gathered for the ship's return. Usually, one of the maids took Romano down to the docks to welcome Antonio back. After scanning the crowd for a few moments, his smile faltered. They weren't there.

"Oh, sir?" It was one of the sailors on one of the other ships. Antonio knew him briefly. He vaguely remembers talking to him once. "I have a message for you, from a girl named Belle."

Belgium? She was supposed to go home weeks ago. Unless she was back for his return, but Antonio didn't think she'd go through the trouble. Maybe her and Romano got hungry and decided to go to the market to get some food? Yes, that was probably it. Antonio nodded for the sailor to continue.

"She said that they would be waiting at home and that, well… that it's an emergency."

"An emergency regarding what?" Antonio pressed immediately.

The sailor looked a little hesitant, "Ah, well, regarding your henchman, sir." Every good feeling was punched out of Antonio's gut in a split second. He could feel his heart falling in his chest as dread washed over him. He absently thanked the man and started down the street, one that he'd walked so many times to get to his home.

Belle knew exactly how to get Antonio's attention, that was for sure. She knew that anything concerning Romano would concern him as well. Antonio had kept up with the news in both Italy and Spain, and he hadn't heard of any economic troubles, so Romano couldn't be sick. Theories and thoughts invaded Antonio's head as he ran down the path, his coat fluttering behind him. He vaguely remembered that he had been wearing a hat, but it wasn't there anymore, and he didn't care.

Was Romano hurt? Had there been an accident? He was a nation, he couldn't be dead… though the thought almost made Antonio trip over a rock from stumbling. He was in good shape the last time he check, so he was surprised when he felt his lungs burning and chest heaving for breath. How long had he been running? He should've hired a horse! He groaned at his own stupid hasty decisions, but continued to run.

The manor was how he remembered it. White, vines growing up the sides of the house with the garden and fountains and…Antonio barely noticed anything else. He burst into the front door, wincing lightly when it banged loudly against the wall. The maid in the front hallway, the main maid. Antonio never learned her name, he felt bad about that. She didn't smile at his return, but looked nervous. She held out her hand in the direction of the dining room, which told Antonio where to go. He nodded in thanks and continued hurriedly into the dining room, and…

And everything looked pretty normal. Belgium was sitting at the table with Romano-Romano, who Antonio hasn't seen in two months. He started to smile, but them saw the look on Belgium's face. When she saw Antonio enter, she looked almost scared. Definitely nervous. Romano didn't look up. Or, he tried to, but he managed to glance at Antonio, then look away again.

Almost like he'd done something wrong. Had he broken something? Nothing could be so valuable to get him to look like that.

"…Welcome back." Belgium tried to sound cheerful, but it was hard. Antonio could sense the acting. He crossed the room and stood in front of the table, across from Belgium. Romano still didn't look up. Instead of telling Antonio what happened, to his annoyance, she turned to Romano, "Why don't you go help the maids in the kitchen, Roma?"

Antonio knew what to expect. A sour look since he didn't want to help. A grumble and sigh as he trudged off to go do what he was ordered to. Or maybe a complaint and a reason why he couldn't.

Antonio didn't know what to think when Romano just nodded and got off his chair, then slowly made his way into the kitchen. As soon as the door shut, Antonio breathed. "What happened?" He asked, quietly. Belgium winced.

"You should sit down." She said, avoiding his demanding gaze. He knew she wouldn't talk unless he sat down. He did, across from her, and folded his hands on the table.

"Belle." He said, strictly. He never used that tone for anyone except a member of his crew.

"How was your trip?" She smiled weakly, fumbling with her hands on the table.

"_Belle._" Antonio said again, his eyes fixed on her. She winced and made a little whining sound, her eyes fell to look at the table as she sighed.

"Right…right, okay… I'll just get right into it then?" Antonio didn't answer, so Belgium took it as a hint to continue. "Okay, um… a month ago I asked Romano to tend to the garden, since your gardener was sick. He just had to pull some weeds…nothing too hard for him. He went out to do it… and after a while, I was wondering what was taking him so long." This story had a fork in the road for Antonio. So many possibilities, many different paths this could take. "And then…" Belgium looked like she was trying not to cry. "A group of maids were shouting and panicking…and I didn't know why. They were all huddled around something…" Antonio's heart hammered in his chest, "Romano had…fallen into the pond. Nobody really knew how long he'd been out there but… the cook tried to…help but…" Tears spilled over Belgium's eyes and down her cheeks, "I really really tried but… Romano…. died. He'd drowned even before the maids pulled him out."

Antonio felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach by a horse. He couldn't look at Belgium anymore, his eyes fell down to the table. "I never…wanted him to know what death felt like, Belle."

"I know, I'm so so sorry…but…"

"Oh, but? What else happened to him while I was gone?" Antonio said accusingly. He knew he shouldn't, but his emotions were getting the better of him. Belgium looked like she'd been slapped. Antonio immediately felt terrible for snapping at her. She knew he didn't mean it, it wasn't her fault and they both knew it. She continued.

"After he'd recovered from…well…death, and the doctors said he was fine… one night I ran him a bath. He came in but…as soon as he looked at the tub he…" She rubbed her eyes, trying to get the memory out of her head, "had a complete panic attack. He was shaking and crying and even threw up once or twice… he's terrified of water, Antonio." The room fell silent. Antonio leaned back into his chair, his eyes not blinking or moving. Though his brain still hadn't caught up with the news, useless questions spilled out his mouth.

"How does he bathe?" He asked. Maybe it was a form of dealing with the shock that he asked such useless questions. But, he knew he'd need to know, since he was Romano's caretaker.

"We have to give him a sponge bath… he'd fine with that, but if he looks at the bucket, he'll…well, panic…" Belgium decided to answer all of Antonio's unspoken questions, "He can't drink water anymore, so it's mostly just milk and juice… even then it's hard for him because it's still liquid, but he knows he needs to drink. When it rains, he doesn't…" Belgium hesitated, "He doesn't jump in the puddles like he used to, he avoids them like the plague." A small pause, "You understand why we couldn't meet you at the docks today."

Antonio had heard enough, he pushed himself up, off the chair, his hands firmly on the table, "I need to speak with him." He rounded the table and continued into the kitchen as Belgium's voice followed him.

"He's sensitive about the subject, Antonio. He worked really hard to be able to see you today." Antonio didn't know what that meant but didn't stop to ask. He continued into the kitchen.

As soon as the cook and maids saw him, politely excused themselves, leaving the kitchen empty except for Romano and Antonio. Romano was sitting on a small stool near the pantry in the back of the kitchen. He was carving potatoes because that was probably what the maids asked him to do. He didn't look up when Antonio walked in.

"Romano." Antonio said softly as he walked closer, "Roma, please look at me." He bent down beside Romano, trying to get a good look at his face. Romano hid his face even more, he turned his back to Antonio as he sat on the stool. Before Antonio could say anything, Romano did.

"You were going to teach me how to swim this summer." He was so quiet, Antonio could barely hear him. Romano continued to carve the potatoes.

"…Yes." Antonio said, he didn't know what else to say.

"You were going to take me on a boat ride sometime, since you said the war is almost over."

"…Yes, Roma."

"I tried…really hard to take a bath today, Boss. I wanted to be clean when you came back."

Antonio had seen the worst things imaginable, the worst the world could throw at him, and he hadn't even batted an eye. He couldn't believe he was this close to crying. He understood what Belgium meant now, and he noticed that Romano had dirt on him, probably from the day before since the bath was unsuccessful.

"And I'm very proud of you, Roma." Antonio flinched when Romano threw the potato to the ground, along with the knife. He spun around to meet Antonio's eyes, and just now Antonio saw the tears rolling down his cheeks.

"How?" Romano screamed, "How-how are you proud of me? I'm even more troublesome than before!" Antonio tried cutting in, but Romano didn't even take a breath, "And now that you know what…what happened…how I can't even…I can't do anything. I was just supposed to pull out some weeds." Antonio's eyes fell down to Romano's hands. Romano was pinching himself, but it didn't look like he wanted to, it looked like a tick, or a habit. Antonio could tell Romano did it a lot, because the area was bruised badly, it was turning blue and purple.

"Romano, stop…" Antonio tried grabbing Romano's hands, trying to get him to stop, but Romano abruptly pulled away. This was so much to deal with for a child. Romano was getting red-faced and flustered and his breathing was catching up with his speech.

"Y-You should take me back…give me back." Those words hurt Antonio, but it looked like it hurt Romano more. He started pinching harder, "If-If you give me back, I won't be a burden, no, no I won't. Not to you. You won't have to wor-worry about me a-anymore." It took Antonio a moment to realize Romano was hyperventilating.

Antonio pulled Romano into a strong hug, though Romano thrashed to try and run away. Antonio shushed him and smoothed down his tangled hair, it wasn't long before Romano calmed down and all that could be heard was his sobs into Antonio's coat.

"Romano, everything's going to okay…" Romano wanted to argue, but Antonio made it sound so convincing. "I would never give you back, ever. Boss loves you, Romano. Way too much to let you go so easily like that. I don't care if you're afraid of…" Antonio wasn't sure if he could say it, but he didn't think it could harm Romano in any way, "water. I'll protect you and make sure you never ever…get hurt like that again. Okay?" He spoke softly, still running his hands through Romano's hair. It took Romano a long time, but he nodded and hugged Antonio back.

"Everything's going to be okay, Romano."


End file.
